Tuesday, February 06, 2007

IM FINALLY BACK IN ICELAND...AND SOOOOO HAPPY ;)
An American guy sent me this the other day on myspace, check it out. Proves Im not crazy...or well at least not the only crazy person out there. Ill stop now, just read:

...hmmm,I'm not sure what this 'Glacierpickies' thing is all about but I don't like the sound of it.It definitely does not sound elfish or even remotely Huldufólk to me.I'm sure 'Please yoursElf' must be a fascinating book but are you sure with a title like that you just didn't tell me to please MY-self?
Believe it or not I may have an Icelandic elf connection.I at least have a story...during the early seventies my Mom was a nurse in the U.S. Airforce stationed at Keflavik.Being a sexually liberated young beautiful woman she said she found relations with her boyfriend ,my father, stupid and boring.(When she told me all this she was quite drunk).I remember how taken a back and sickend I was about hearing my Mom talk about sex...I wanted to vomit,trust me!
Anyways,while on leave from the base my Mom and her friend decided to take a road up to Akureyri.Don't ask me how but she also said she had some marijuana,remember this was 1973 or 74' and she was an American...
Well, here it is..along the way they stoped to camp by some river or glacier ,I don't remember which, and that night met some...elfs.I know what your saying Ohhh,Bullshit ,American Johnny! I'm sorry it gets much worse! Not only were they elves but they were guy elves and they smoke and drank and...you guessed it!

... had sex in some flimsy U.S. Airforce tent with my Mom and her friend,this is so fucking gross!

ARRGGHHH!!

I think they were just high and drunk and met two horny Icelandic sheepherders...

There's more ...I look and act nothing like my Dad and only bear a slight resemblance to my Mom.She would always tell me over Christmas I was 'cute as an elf' and I always hated Santa Clause for paying his employess with left over milk and cookeis.

So if this is all true and if I am half-elven I should have some sort of idea what a 'Glacierpickies' is -I don't.


Like I said...hmmm.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Helves
I of course had to check out the supernatural-being scene here. I went to the forest to seek well....not sex maybe (I was not sooo optimistic) but at least sexual possibilities. Well there is definetly something lurking around in the Finish forests but it is not so fancy or sophisticated. Of course I can not be sure that there is nothing more out there...but I found some interesting guy probably a million years old (so probably experienced in bed but not so attractive) and he might have been tall one day but he was so hunched that he was even smaller than me (Im 163cm). He was actually very nice, a bit shy like most Finish and always taking a sip of something from his pocket, a bit the Finish style also. He must have been an old soul telling me all sorts of interesting stories that I could not see that had any logical connection to each other. So on one hand jibber jabber but on the other hand interesting. So maybe Tolkien met this guy and used some of his stuff....I should have asked but did not think of that then. And after a while he just wandered off....
Im wondering now if I have developed some kind of skill to attract these beings, that they come to me. Good, good!
Now I am gonna stop this jibber jabber since there are no sex stories or information yet but I promise that I will do some more reaserch. Im getting desperate here!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Hi, hi or should I say Moi.
Im in Finland now, Helsinki to be precise. Helsinki is pretty cool but as you can imagine the sexlife here is not so good. Hence not so much news. Well they have huge forests here so I thought there must be some being lurking around in the darkness. After all they say that Tolkien took inspiration from Finish elves for his books, but of course he used the Icelandic elves. Finland can have Santa Claus (he allegedly lives in Rovaniemi in the north of Finland) but we definetly have the elves.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Ok, Im gonna starf with a few simple ELF-facts.
Elf sex is possibly the safest sex on earth. They dont carry sexually transmitted diseases and you cant get pregnant or make an Elverine pregnant unless you both want to, which is not unheard of.
And YES there are female elves, elverines. And theyre HOT HOT HOT, even to girls. That reminds me: All elves are bisexual, but guys and girls not ready for some same sex action dont worry, no elf will do anything you dont want to. They can sense your longings and not-longings.
And you, Anonymous painter from New York. Im so happy for you, there are probably not many humans in the world so lucky to experience a relationship with both a fairy and a mermaid. Im very curious, are they at all similar to my descriptions of elves? please send me your pics of your paintings to hallgerdur@lhi.is and I can post them on the blog.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Tomorrow is "Jónsmessa" (or Midsummer night). That is a really special day in Iceland. The story says that you should get compleatly naked and roll around in the wet grass during the night and make a wish and then all your wishes come true. During that night the wet in the grass also has healing power (only in Iceland) so it is quite importand for us Icelanders to do it.
Im going to do it a bit different then the others tonight. Going a bit away from crazy naked people running around like lunatics in Reykjavík and find me some soft moss and roll around in that and wish for an elf to come and meet me where Im lying all naked and wet in the moss tonight.
Tell me about your experience about tonight here on the blog this weekend.... Im looking so forward to it
Happy hunting ;)

Thursday, June 22, 2006

"Find a fat balding man like your moms did and fuck and have babies and die old and senile."(A quote from the comments on June 11th) THIS IS WHY ELVES ARE THE BEST! They prevent this from happening.
PS I Love when people fight on my blog.

This is for you Anonymous Disbeleiver that commented on my writings on June 11th, to see that I´m not fat or hairy...well some on my head and that Ive also got real friens.This is me on the left with my very sleepy friend Stefán and my curly friend Lubba. My blog is obviously very important to you, I think that you´re a very curious person and right now you´re really scared that you´re missing out on something great. And YOU ARE!!! I used to know this feeling when you think everybody else has such a great life but yours... well sounds like its happening in your moms basement in front of your computer. Well like you said yourself, go out in the sunshine...in Iceland and have the best time of your life and realise that you are the one thats crazy.

Here's a recent picture of me, not naked on a rock but maybe a can invite a photographer to the next "meeting". But Some elves are really found of appliances since they dont use them and find them therefor very interesting. But they are not responsible beings so don´t let drive your car, nobody lives to tell what happens but I suppose its not good. Ive also heard that they steal mobile phones. But Im sorry to say i didn´t get lucky with the washing machine.

Friday, June 16, 2006

YES!! All I can say is: Everybody that is currently in Iceland, RUN TO ALTHINGI!
Just go into the garden behind the building and sit in the grass or on a bench and there are good chances an ELF will aproach you. Be sure though not to confuse the bums that sometimes hang out there with elves...well, theres not a big chance that will happen. When you meet an elf youll know. And when you have sex with one, YOU´LL KNOW. Ok a lot of capital letters I know, but there´s a good reason. I haven´t had too many encounters with elves lately as maybe you can see on the blog, but the past few days have been fabulous! Three times I have gone to see this bloke behind Alþingi, he is gorgeous (like all elves) with long blond hair and a big straight nose and the greenest eyes youll ever see and the biggest...you know. We started with foreplay in the grass but he doesn´t like people or elves to whatch (whitch is not uncommon since they´re creatures of nature and aren´t used to having a lot of beings around). So next to the Alþingi there´s a big building and there in a dark corner it all happened (I don´t want any peepers so Im not saying exactly where). But I can say that I´ve never had sex with an elf against a concrete wall before in the middle of Reykjavík and it was great. Quick but all the more powerful.
Go and have fun, but dont try to steal my guy, well elves aren´t big on fidelity so there isnt much I can say... but if somebody is taking advantage of him when I need him I´ll be really pissed ;)