Sunday, June 11, 2006

Hi, people.
I have happy news for everyone in Reykjavik (Iceland) needing a shag!! I havent seen them yet with my own eyes but experts in my field (well in seeing elves, Im not sure about their expertese in the sex thing) have spotted a whole lot of elves behind Alþingi (the Icelandic Parliament). They are apparently protesting because a lot of their homes are beeing destroyed, both in the making of Kárahnjúkar power plant and other big buildings. So if you like to do it in public, that is the right place to go, just note that sex in public with an invisible person might look even weirder than just having sex in public.
This information I have from some friends that run the Haunted Iceland tours, check out the http://hauntediceland.com/ website. I will go to Alþingi as soon as possible and Ill let you know if its worth trying....

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found your site through Cruel.Com, and I was curious - can you please briefly outline how one goes about elf-shagging? We're all dying with curiosity over here.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I thought the Japanese were weird.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They are.

2:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I simply can't picture this with out some photos of you naked on a rock.

Please post

clockwork ;)p

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, so, is it consentual sex?

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok i usually dont post comments on blogs like this because the blog itself is ridiculous enough that people who read it realize your are an idiot. But the thing is i dont think you realize you are an idiot... So I, in my magnificent glory am here under license from the agency for identifying morons, or AIM if its easier for you halfwits to remember, am here to inform you that you are fucking retarded. Grow the fuck up and get on with your meaningless lives. Find a fat balding man like your moms did and fuck and have babies and die old and senile. Oh and i am so sorry to ruin your delusions...and i know you are going to find this hard to believe... ELVES DONT EXIST!!! ok now let that settle in to your thick skulls... mull it over for a minute... Now pull out your elf shaped pistol that you keep in your drawer full of elf printed underwear and pull out that box of werewolf ammo you bought from your crazy uncle carl (i wont mention that you paid for that ammo with your virginity at 8 years old) and put the barrel in your mouth... I dont even care if you think about elves as you squeeze the trigger but for the love of god SQUEEZE THE DAMN TRIGGER!!!!

10:54 PM  
Blogger Simon Volkov said...

Dear "anonymous" guy who suggested suicide,

Why do you care so much what this girl believes? Do you have nothing better to do than write long, semi-coherent rants with bad grammar on other peoples' blogs . . . in order to make the point that blogs are stupid?

You should have been an abortion.

Toodles,
Simon Volkov

1:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear simon volkov,

I care so much what this girl believes because i believe that her opinion really speaks for the masses of morons that are slowly taking over the planet. It is people like her and yourself that are the reason why the intelligent people of the earth must endure the warning labels on everything from appliances to rocks. So just as her mission in life is to seek and destroy elven virginity, my mission is to seek and destroy morons who choose to procreate with non-existant beings. I could really care less that in her mind an elf is fucking her, when in all actuality it is most likely a homeless man who stumbled onto her fat hairy naked body in the middle of the field and thought "why the hell not?". You should'nt take offense to that either, just because thats how you came to be. I am sure that your drunk homeless dad would have sent child support to your whore of a mother if he hadnt drank it all away trying to rid himself of the memory of fucking her. But i am getting off track here... the point is i really dont think that there would be a whole lot of tears shed over the loss of her life, or yours for that matter.

Forever yours
chunky buttermuffin

5:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude u guys are sick...

6:00 PM  
Blogger Simon Volkov said...

I care so much what this girl believes because i believe that her opinion really speaks for bla bla bla flappity flap

You don't actually expect anyone to read this bloated drivel, do you?

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

apparently you do dumbass

11:48 PM  
Blogger Simon Volkov said...

apparently you do dumbass

Actually, I just copy/pasted a portion of the first sentence, as I couldn't be bothered to read any further of your verbal asspiss.

And "dumbass"? Wow, how you cut me to the core. Clearly, your wit is the stuff of legends.

*yawn*

12:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahh but your copy and paste method of mocking others seems to be working for you quite well. And i am sure that when the ladies ask you at your dungeons and dragons daily meeting what you do for a living, and you tell them that you maintain one of the elite self loathing weblogs, they nearly shit themselves with ecstasy. here is an idea... get out of your moms basement and introduce yourself to the sun. Leave the confines of that 6 foot radius around your computer and go talk to a girl in person for once, or would that kill the little girl inside you to be rejected face to face instead of over the internet? thank you for your time but i am thru degrading you... i'm sure you can handle that on your own. have a nice day.

sincerely,
funky fresh flowmaster fatboy

8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear hallgerdur,

I am so sorry for defacing your blog with my moronic comments. My mommy used to bite my little dick when I was a boy, so I have a lot of anger against women. I don't like elves either, because one of them told me I was ugly and disgusting, which is sadly true. I am feeling better now after taking my medication, but please forgive me if I go back to my old ways.

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Asha said...

As an actual intelligent person of the earth, I find it kind of worrying that Mr. Anonymous claims to speak for the entire intelligent population of the planet.

(You haven't exactly proved to be a representative sample, you know.)

However, I do find his self-contradictions amusing. As, I suspect, does Simon Volkov. I also suspect Mr. Volkov has an advantage of at least 30 IQ points over that shameless self-aggrandizing twit. Shame he got the last word - I bet he still believes he came out of that looking good.



P.S. The blog's a good read. :)

1:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, first time reading and very interesting I must say, my question is, are elves found only in iceland? Please and thank you :)

6:50 AM  

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